I hate blue tooth headsets

Earlier today I was in a gas station pre-paying for my fuel.  A drop-dead gorgeous brunette, wearing a black business suit with a skirt sidled up next to me and asked me if I was going to make it tonight.  My heart raced.  I was wearing cargo shorts and a Led Zepplin t-shirt, why would this attractive, sensual, powerful goddess be asking me if I was going to make it?  Being male, my mind immediately jumped to the first sexual conclusion it could think of.  I turned on the charm.  “I wouldn’t miss it,” I said, staring directly into her beautiful brown eyes.  The look I received was somewhere between horror and a sad pity.  She turned her head ever so slightly and revealed the bluetooth headseat embedded in her auditory canal. 

This has got to end.  Does it really increase your productivity enough to justify going hands free?  Are we so lazy that holding a tiny, lightweight device for the duration of a conversation is that much of a hassle? 

Save the bluetooth for useful things like Playstation controllers and Wii wands.  Stop giving everyone the impression that you’re a new breed of schizophrenic that talks business strategies to themselves while walking the concourses at airports.  It’s embarrasing for us normal people that think you’re engaging us in conversation.

College bookstores are doing it right!

This summer I took several literature classes.  Among them was the ever popular Neo-classic and Romantic British Literature.  It takes a refined literary palate to enjoy the works of Wordsworth, Johnson, Pope and Keats.  Did I mention it started at 7 a.m.?  Needless to say I was able to get a few more hours of sleep at my desk using the $40 textbook as a pillow. 

As the semester finished, I realized that i’d be able to sell my book back and hopefully get enough cash to put three gallons of gas in my tricked out Hummer (O.k. it’s a used Tacoma).  When I found out that I would only be getting one dollar back for my extra firm pillow I was appalled.  How could the value of this book go down so fast?  If my English book was the stock market, people would be lining up to jump out the windows of their office buildings!  College bookstores have the right idea for capitalizing on the monopoly that they enjoy.  There are other means for getting books, aka: The Internet, but I had been in a rush to get this specific book and couldn’t wait overnight for it. 

In the end the decision was simple.  You see, there had been this bag of pretzels that had called to me from the vending machine on my way over to the bookstore…

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